Sunday, 19 July 2009

My Transformation - Modcloth, Terrific Transformations Contest.

Nearly 4 years ago now, my best friend for over 10 years was diagnosed with a severe eating disorder. Her constant mood swings and reluctancy to speak openly about much at all anymore was a strain on all those around her, and as we're only young, her parents were her main resource to vent her anger. I, myself, despite how selfish i appear to be, have struggled to retain my duties and what was expected of me as her closest friend: i couldn't listen to her cry about her parents making her eat, because i knew what they were doing was right; i couldn't spend long periods of time with her, because she had lost all personality and what made her special...her 'spark'; i couldn't talk about my fears and anxieties about her health with anyone, because i knew they wouldn't understand. After years of trying to overcome the illness herself, she is currently in hospital, attempting to battle her illness - and win, this time. As a result of the anorexia, both my friend and i have learned a lot; however my friend may take some time to realise it. I have learned that your image is nothing. Vanity isn't a good attribute. I have learned not to pay attention to the skin and bones in magazines they call celebrities. The fad diets and the useless exercises mean nothing to me. I've learnt that you only live once, so why waste it trying to be something you're not? Attempting to become a different person creates a different personality; why risk losing the love you recieve from friends and family? My friend explained it to me; she said it was like she was being bullied. Being bullied by someone much bigger than her. Much stronger than her. Much better than her. She said it over powers you, and takes over you, until theres not much of you left. I never want to be like that. I may not be perfectly happy with my body, but i'm not willing to change myself to satisfy other people. My friends illness has transformed me. I've realised that theres no point living your life for other people. Theres not point wasting your time feeling starving, exercising at every chance. I've discovered that weight doesn't matter. Its the person inside that counts, and if those around me can't see it, then thats their problem. I know i'm only one person, but hopefully people will be inspired by this. Even if its only one person, i'll be happy.

"The eating disorder is a very jealous and abusive partner. It requires a lot of devotion in the extent that you have to devote yourself to tending to the anorexia. There's not a lot of time left over for adult life."

I thought this quote was fitting to the message of this blog. As statistics show, the number of sufferers from anorexia and bulimia is increasing rapidly in teenage girls and young adults. The subject of eating disorders and the signs and syptoms are not widely known: i did not know anything about eating disorders before my friend became a victim of one. Perhaps, if more people knew about the causes and the contributing factors to eating disorders, maybe many young people could be helped and even cured in return.